The Seder Rap
© by Randi and Murray. Spiegel, Passover 1994

Gonna tell you all a story, 'bout the Jews in Egypt,
They had a good thing goin', there was no complaint.
But then there came this Pharoah, who was mean and nasty,
He worked them night and day, from the heat they did faint.

They pleaded unto G-d, "Save us all, your children"
And G-d looked down to them, he was quite distressed.
So G-d appeared to Moses through a bush on fire,
He said "Go back to Egypt, go clear up this mess."

Chorus: Tell the story, find the matzah, drink the cups of wine.
It's all in celebration, so let's sing and dine.

So Moses went to Pharoah, saying "G-d's real angry,
They've suffered many years, Le-let my people go."
But Pharoah didn't listen, he had no intentions
Of giving up his servants, and he HUHp said "No."

So G-d sent down 10 plagues, which were quite horrendous,
They started out with water being changed to blood.
And then there came the frogs; third, the lice persisted,
Then wild beasts everywhere left a ... trail of crud.

Chorus: Tell the story, find the matzah, drink the cups of wine.
It's all in celebration, so let's sing and dine.

The cattle were all killed, and the boils were torture,
The hail came down in torrents, heads were really woozie.
From the sky there came the locusts, number 9 was darkness,
But G-d was not yet done, number 10 was a doozie.

All the first-born dropped like flies, in their tents and temples,
Every bird and beast in Egypt, only Pharoah was spared.
Such a wailin' in Mitsrayim, there was such commotion,
Pharoah couldn't comprehend, he just ... stopped and stared.

Chorus: Tell the story, find the matzah, drink the cups of wine.
It's all in celebration, so let's sing and dine.

The Jews ran out of Egypt, with their herds of cattle,
Pharoah followed with his armies, they were very near.
But then Moses stretched his hand, and The Sea was parted, 
Our people walked on through, they were ... free and clear. 
So here we are tonight, sitting 'round this table,
We tell this tale again, never with a gap.
When our ancestors were slaves, G-d reached out to help them,
The Jews are now a people, 'cause we HUHp beat the rap!